I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
