i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
