i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
