The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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