hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
