he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
