tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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