I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
