you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
