Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
