thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
