Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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