Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
