break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I stole a fireplace last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
