Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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