Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
whose ass print is on the piano?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
