She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
