Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think my mom watched the whole time
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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