Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
