i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
