Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
