I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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