Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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