he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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