That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have tasted many bathrooms
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
