I just cut my nipple shaving
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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