nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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