I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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