is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
