Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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