scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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