I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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