i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
