used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You're like the curious george of whores
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
