so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
