I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
