a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
