Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
