we're blogging at a bar
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
