$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
