Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
