At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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