i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
PANTIES FOUND
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