Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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