I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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