She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
