Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
now i know why i became what i already was.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
