Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You pole danced in your parka.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just gargled with NyQuil
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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