just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
honey bunches of taint.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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