Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
