i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
