No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
