Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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